Is arguing ever productive?

“You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.”

– Dale Carnegie

arguingObserving two people who are arguing can be fascinating.  I’m not talking about a discussion or a debate – but a genuine argument.  If both persons hold widely different perspectives and the conversation devolves into arguing, reason and common sense become secondary.  Emotions take over.  Most times, the result is a stalemate.  Neither person leaves with any sense of satisfaction – and the issue remains unresolved.

One technique that improves the chances for a more positive outcome from a disagreement is the Ransberger Pivot. It is a communication principle that is used to find common ground with an opponent. It is defined as a debate technique (first described and utilized by Ray Ransberger and Marshall Fritz in 1982) in which a person attempts to find common ground with another person they are trying to persuade.  The proposed method deploys three stages:

  1. Listen to the other person’s objections and try to understand what they are really concerned about.
  2. Understand the other person’s objections and validate how they feel about the issue.
  3. Find a common goal in the other person’s objections and convince them your way is a viable solution to the agreed problem. Use facts and share your view on a solution to what you agree is the problem.

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